Hello, my name is Jonathan and this is my story on how losing my nephew Auley James to the angels above affected me, and hopefully can bring some comfort to others.

It was Monday the 17th of December 2018, I had started my work at 0630, and my day had been going quite normal then my dad phoned me and told me your an uncle again, I said what do you mean ? And he said yep your sister has had a little baby boy, I wondered what one as I have 3 sisters, when he told me Danalouise had given birth to a baby boy the night before my face lit up with happiness I was also shocked and kind of in the I told you so thoughts as a few weeks previous I had been in my sisters and we had laughed that I thought she was pregnant again, I was asking lots of questions and then my dad told me, unfortunately there’s been some complications and that he’s not very well, the happiness was taken over by a feeling I can only describe as gut wrenching, after a long conversation with my dad I carried on working but the rest of the day wasn’t normal, it was constantly wondering how my little nephew auley james was, wondering if his condition had improved wondering how my sister was and how her parter Gary was also, I finished work went home and spoke to my dad and sister, following this Auley James was transferred to the hospital for sick kids at the queen Elizabeth hospital, I finished work and picked up my younger sister and we travelled up there, not knowing what to expect we met with my dad at the entrance who told us it won’t be easy to do and that if we don’t want to go in it’s totally fine, but I kept a strong face on and went up and saw Gary sitting there in the reception area I gave him a cuddle and asked how he was, if I thought the feeling I had when I was first told Auley James wasn’t well was gut wrenching there’s no words to describe how I felt in the hospital, my sister came out and I just cuddled her and held her tight we then went into the room where he was sleeping peacefully, in front of me was the most gorgeous little baby boy I have ever saw, I just stood there staring at him thinking how amazing he was!

Over the coming days, and weeks I continued to ask how he was and visit at hospital, he was christened in the hospital and I couldn’t go, my brave front had fell away and I was too upset to go and that emotion made me
Feel that I had let the full family down.

The week and a half Auley James spent in the hospital were an agonizing mix of good days and bad days for our little angel. Even as the news got more and more grim, I refused to give up hope, and told my sister to do the same. As painful as it was to see this sweet little baby so unwell and hooked up to all sorts of medical equipment and machines I knew that he would be at peace no matter what.

The final day of Auleys life was made comfortable at robin house a hospice ran by CHAS, he was given the best care along with my sister and brother in law and my 3 nieces also, but my sister and her partner made the most difficult decision they will ever have to make in there life’s on the 31st of December 2018 where they let him go and be with the angels up above, I was told that my nephew the most beautiful little boy in the world had gone and I just burst into tears, I knew I had to be strong for my sister and brother in law but also for the rest of my family, I’m the brother of 3 sisters who all needed me in there own different ways, the 8th of January 2019 came and this was the day little Auley James would be laid to rest I was in my sisters house comforting them and my other family knowing that day would be one of the hardest days in my life, I remained strong until I saw the tiny white coffin being carried into the chapel and I broke down, I completely lost it, being comforted by family and friends made it that tiny bit easier until we arrived at the graveside in the arms of an angel was played as the coffin was lowered into the ground, I was in tears trying to comfort my sisters and my dad and brother in laws who were also in pieces at this time, no words can describe how I felt that day and they never ever will, loosing a child wether it is a son daughter niece nephew or no relation at all will never be easy at all, but you never think Youl go through it and when it happens to you there’s no words that can describe the rollercoaster of emotion and hurt that runs through your head, I lost my baby nephew to the angels, and I know he will be looking down on me and all my family including his mum dad sisters aunts and Grandparents all the time.

I love you so much Auley James rest easy kid 💚xx