Baby Loss Questions
If you are on our baby loss questions page, we are so sorry. We have found time and time again that families have questions that never seem to be answered properly so based on our experiences, we have come up with a page which we hope might be useful to you or a loved one.
If you have a question not listed here, please get in touch so we can support you.
Why did this happen to me?
Unfortunately, baby loss doesn’t discriminate. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss and half of those losses never come with a reason why. Lots of pregnancy losses aren’t investigated until it has happened 3 times (recurrent miscarriage) or you have a late loss which requires an investigation.
Losing a baby is such a difficult journey to be on but just know that you are not alone and we are here to support you.
I have lost a baby, what can I do about my work?
Regardless of when you lost your baby, you are entitled to “pregnancy related leave”. Most employers offer this as standard if you lose your baby and it can be anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks but this depends on the company. This is something you should talk about with a manager that you can trust. More information can also be found at: Miscarriage and the workplace – The Miscarriage Association
When can I try for another baby?
There is no right or wrong answer to this, it just depends on the individual circumstances. We would always recommend giving yourself time to grieve your loss properly and to get the right support in place first before trying again. It would be worthwhile to speak to your GP before trying again to give yourself the best chance going forward.
People say unsupportive things to me about my loss. What can I do about it?
Unfortunately there isn’t anything we can do about comments from other people. It is far easier to talk to someone who has also lost a baby as they can completely understand how you feel and know the helpful things to say rather than the unhelpful. If you want to talk about your loss but you are not sure who to turn to, you can reach us on social media and we are here to listen, anytime day or night.
Will my grief ever come to an end?
In short, no. Your loss is something that will live with you forever. In the early stages of grief, it feels like there is no escape from it and it almost feels like you will never be happy again. If you imagine your grief is a black ball that sits in a jar, at the very beginning of your journey the jar is small and the ball can fit in it with very little room to move. As time moves forward, the jar slowly gets bigger but the ball of grief never changes size. The jar represents your life and all of the things in your life that keep you moving forward e.g. your family, friends and work. As you keep taking steps forward, you slowly rebuild your life around your grief and it is something you will carry with you for life. While it sounds difficult, please know that you are not alone and the team at Baby Loss Retreat have all got lived experience. If you ever need to speak to us we are here for you.
I get emails/newsletters from baby related companies. How do I stop this?
This is something that affects lots of families after the loss of a baby. Thankfully there is a service in place that can reduce the number or baby related emails you may receive from companies who mean well but can cause unintended hurt. You can register your details here: Baby MPS Registration (dma.org.uk)